these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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