Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
