I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
