I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
