remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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