maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
