if you like me you must not know who I am
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
