Pappa wants mamma naked
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
