Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
