Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
