I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
