remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
