dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize