Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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