Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
