Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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