Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
