I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
