We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
