Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
