they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
