IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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