I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
