She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think i got beer on your cat.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
