i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
