yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
