me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
