so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
