Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
