he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
COCAINE IS GR8
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
