found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
