But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
