so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
