I love black thongs
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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