is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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