i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
