that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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