I wish my penis had an off switch
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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