Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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