I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
