Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
