Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
