38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
