u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Let's paint friendship bongs
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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