Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
