we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
