I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
