It's Friday. Sex?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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