I hope mine doesn't look like that
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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