Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
