I must be too annoying 4 u.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
