I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
