I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
