Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
