I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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