3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
