nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
