you have to choose: penises or morals?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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