The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
