I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
